Miserable.

Have you ever felt that devastated before...?
Crying till your heart felt weak...
Tears ran all over your face...
Gasping for breath...
Feeling lost...

Being optimistic is my priority when it comes to solving other people's problem.
When it turns out to be my problem, I can't.
Not even optimistic.
Not even braining properly to solve everything peacefully.

Life is long, lessons to be learnt.
I'm never letting my guard down, not even for once more.
20 years of life, never stopped let parents worrying.
Treating buddies like my life depends on them, ignoring family.
Rather go home late than answering parents' calls.
I guess, I'm just being too ignorant, negligent and rebellent all these while.

-aLiCe_RawkXZ-

Mid February.

I'm still forever alone after almost 2 years. Ha!

What's big happened throughout the month was probably the infection on my left calf.
It started around last week, with unknown reasons my dad and I got a wound.
Mine was few times bigger than dad's, which is terribly horrifying.
As it was too epic to take a picture of before and after (because many will just close their eyes and prefer not to see it), I'll just talk about it.
Don't worry people, I'm recovering from it. :)

Chinese New Year this year.
Yay or nay if you asked me, I shall say neither.
Like what daddy said, there wasn't any mood for new year, even with decorations up high at the car porch.
Eventually collecting red packets (or angpows) was the only thing I expected doing.
Oh well, not much too.
I can say it's so little that I might finish spending them in half a month if the money is not in the bank.
Not that I'm money-faced, but the world has been realistic to me, so yeah.

School's reopening in 4 days or so, but homework left untouched with my CNY holiday schedule still full.
Here's why:
15th - Street party.
16th - YP Angpow Night.
17th - Zoe's farewell dinner.
18th - Class gathering.
You don't say? I also want my homework to be done. :\
Looks like I have to either squeeze my free time or get less rest.
Gotta beware of that white hair lady in school.

Ciao for now.

-aLiCe_RawkXZ-

Greetings from Taiping.

Hey all.
It's been a while since I last updated here.

As I told quite a number of people, I'm currently not in Penang, but Taiping.
It's actually saddening to know that my grandpa had left us for 14 weeks.
We had no idea but to come back to manage some ceremonies.
Don't worry though, I'll be back tomorrow, hopefully by afternoon.

Life over here is totally crazy.
With my cousin sister here with me (and we're of the same age), endless topics. XD
Ridiculous was, we slept very late every night and woke up quite late as well.
Imagine cousin brother driving us to Sentral at 10pm, chilling at Starbucks, watching Battleship (12:15am - 2:30am), then slept at 4:30+.
Turns out we woke up at 1+ in the afternoon and of course, got nagged. >.<

The boredom when you can only online and eat when you're awake. DOH!

If you're a Malaysian, here's a must watch short I can recommend.
"Only In Malaysia" by JinnyboyTV on Youtube.
JJ & Ean of Hitz.FM, Joseph Germani, Dennis of Elecoldxhot, Careen (Malaysian Adidas NEO ambassador) and Greyson Chance made their appearance in this short as well.
*Oh so Malaysian lah! - Me.* XD

Oh yeah, before I end the post, the link below will lead you to personal blog, kindly visit if you haven't.
http://rawkeralice.blogspot.com/
Thanks for your support. =)

-aLiCe_RawkXZ-

Delights.

Some recent news to bring forth.

Firstly, this Saturday.
I will, most probably (or 65%) drive to Youth Park for outing.
So if you think you'll see me in school, chances are negative.
Because I'm gonna go crazy and get wet, then enjoy my lunch with my white baby.
Oh for your information, I now have black and white babies.
Blacky, my car; white, my latest purchase, Beats Studio.
Hopefully I can still remember every corner of Youth Park! >.<

Next up, regarding my tertiary education.
I'm serious and have made up my mind to go with Form 6.
Subjects that I'll be taking are most likely the combination as below:
Pengajian Am (a general paper), Maths S (I want both Maths in fact), Economics, Accounts.
Actually am still making consideration about going to Form 6 or college.
I just don't wanna waste parents' money too much, any more.
18 years and still spending. #FAIL.

One more good news to announce.
Daddy's back to work starting Monday. =D
I know he's blaming himself for not working for these years, but see daddy, now you don't have to.
He's aiming far, and planning to get another car if salary is enough to hold up the family.
Card debts, housing loan, car loan, daily expenses.
Perhaps if everything runs fine, we get to travel again. =)
Thank You, Lord!

I guess that's all for today.
Oh, yes. Going to update all #PhotoADay pictures at once *if possible*.
Time to renew my music playlist too.
Some songs ain't functioning any more.

Birthday month arrives, birthday week approaching. Awaiting for surprises. =)

-aLiCe_RawkXZ-

Life?

Just had a superb long conversation with daddy around an hour ago.
Even at the age of 50, he'd definitely gone through a lot in life.
In the family, he cared every member more than we cared about him.
As an immature 18 years old girl, I really must reflect and repent.

My dad. For the 18 years with him, he cares for me all the time.
We can be as close as a couple, yet sometimes he can be as strict as a discipline teacher.
For every plan I make, he never fails to fulfill me.
Perhaps, that's the reason I'm that arrogant, proud and rebellious outside.

We were discussing about furthering my tertiary education.
"If you're to go to other places (out of Penang) to study, I don't think I'll be less burdened," daddy expressed.
*I think I'll have serious homesick. I depend on my dad a lot, and he knows it very well.*
Talking about going to Form 6 back in PCGHS.
He was concerned about the parking spaces if I drive to study.
"Now the road has widen," he said, "And the school doesn't allow you girls to park inside right? Actually if they allow you all to park inside, I won't be that worry for you to drive there, but now, if you have to park somewhere else, though it's safe for your car, what about your own safety then? Who knows some group of people will target on you then plan to do something to you? And then, going back to Form 6, by then you'll be matured by 2 years, knowing what you want to do next, at least you don't have to be stuck in the middle of misery," then talked about my brother's and cousins' cases.

Speaking about friends, he told me about himself and his friends.
My godfather (whom appears to be like my second father) was my dad's colleague many years back.
Till now, they even keep contact with each other, knowing at least, how are each other doing.
He also mentioned his secondary schoolmates who till now still keep contact with him.
"Secondary schoolmates are the ones whom will be the closest with you," daddy said. "In the future, when you're out in the society to work, you will definitely meet some of them, working as a boss, a doctor or so. There's a different feeling when you meet someone you know outside. For example, if your friend is a doctor, you might as well greet the person 'Hey doctor, aren't you that whoever from my secondary school?' or 'Hey I remember you!'. Make more friends, don't stick to just one area. Maybe you have no friends (as my dad thinks I might be an arrogant person in school), I don't know, but try not to just stick to the same group of friends, socialise with the others too. Let's say you're in Taekwondo (yes he knows I'm a Taekwondoist), you can also join other friends from other societies. I know some of your schoolmates have already gone to overseas for study, you can keep in touch with them, as simple as greeting them 'How are you?' or ask them about their life, just go ahead and socialise more. I don't mind you continuing Taekwondo in your Form 6. (Thank you daddy!)"

Comments about my driving as well.
I know all this while I have not been an excellent driver, but at least he lets me drive to near places alone.
"Sometimes it's not I don't wanna let you drive alone," dad said, with slight worries in his speech, "You have to let us know where you'll be going, then let us judge if it's safe for you to drive there alone. Some places because of the traffic, to be frank I'm also sick with the heavy traffic, not only you, I drive until I feel bored and tired. I know last time you're not happy for I don't let you drive alone, cause I don't feel you steady to go alone yet, you see at least now you can handle better, so I allow you to do so."
Dad is a super big fan of cars, as well as his own cars.
He washes his cars and vacuums the interior every week without miss.
However, he's far more concerned about our safety than his car's looks.
I can still remember December 2010, when my brother had an accident while driving in a rainy day. The car was quite badly damaged, but once my parents got the news, they immediately drove another car down to check out his condition.
We're not born wealthy, although dad always says he doesn't mind spending to get our car done, he's very worried about the money flow at home. That made me feel very bad for not helping out in this part.

Well, the most sensitive topic of all, relationship.
He didn't know I had one. *Sorry daddy.*
"To be frank, I don't like you both (my brother and I) to be in a relationship at this age," he confessed. "How old are you? You see, I'm 50 (I had sudden heartache when he said that), your grandfather is 70 something, you're not even 20, do what a teenager has to do, study what you have to study. Why make yourself tied to another person when life has such a long way to go? Let's say you have a boyfriend, later you're restricted to go to places with other guys' existence just because of his words, and being so obedient this way doesn't benefit you any ways. Slowly, when you enter the society, perhaps when you come out to work, slowly aim for one who'll suit you best. I get married at the age of 26, so there's actually nothing to rush for. Maybe you have set your goal, with a salary of RM3000 a month, you're satisfied with it, and decided to be a mum, that's up to you, I don't know. (Well daddy, I want to get angpows a few more years before it's my turn to give.) I hope you consider well, alright?"

If you were sitting down with me to listen our conversation, what he said was far more than these. Tried my best to cut it short, but seems like his words were so powerful and meaningful I have to write them down.

As a conclusion, you really have to rank properly between these 4 things:
Family, studies/career, friends and relationship.
*We exclude wealth, let's say the money you have in hand is sufficient to sustain life till you're old.*
There's a reason for the rank to be in this way.

1st place, family.
Let's emphasise family on parents here.Without your family, you won't even be exist. Without your family, you couldn't have gotten this far in life. They are the closest to you in life, giving you the best shelter, good food, 100% love and care. Some people may not understand the purpose of their decision sometimes, but think again, they do so for your own good. They spent all their precious time, money and energy to raise you, they gain absolutely nothing but age. When the whole world is against you, always remember that family is the biggest support you can have. They play many roles in your life: teacher, chef, plumber, mechanic, doctor, friends, etc. When you face any problems, turn to them and they can be your counsellor the next moment, guiding you what to do. If you merely treat them as strangers at home, no communications, no interactions, you don't deserve to be in the house.

2nd place, studies/career.
Before you know how to be independent, you'll have to go through studies. Not only textbook-based knowledge, but also life experiences by exploring the outside world. Sometimes what you learn from the books cannot be applied into daily life, therefore you have to go through some challenges and obstacles before you can gain success. With sufficient level of education, you can only pursue your career, thus securing you a better life in the future, be it a(n) designer, doctor, singer, lawyer, engineer, artist, technician.

3rd place, friends.
They are one of the factors for you to continue living colourfully. You can always consult a friend when you face any problems in life. Beware however, some friends might lead you to the wrong pathway, therefore be wise enough before ensuring that a person is a good friend to make.

4th place, relationship.
If you really think you should put this in front of the top 3, sorry but you're just a person who's not respectful to family, not focusing on studies/career and not kind enough to friends. For me, relationship is just what comes after you're firm with everything above. Once you make up your mind to hunt for it, there's no turning back. You might get hurt, but if you cannot heal from that, you'll fail your life for being pathetic all day long, trust me.

Life goes on. Stop crying, keep moving.

-aLiCe_RawkXZ-

Valentine's / Forever Alone?

February 14th.
This day, was awesome, yet saddening I have to say.

Here's how my day went.
Started off my day this way.

Driver of the day. =D
I realize I love my blue tank top A LOT. #BLUEFTW.

Fetched my cousin sister, Jee Huey then we're off to Queensbay Mall for lunch.
Passenger #13 on board. Hehe.

Realize both my dad and I are very alert about time and traffic.
He knew today is Valentine's and the road ought to be jam, so he asked me to depart earlier.
Thank you daddy. =) The timing was just right for everything.

Here we arrive at Winter Warmers.

What a cozy environment to have lunch, no? =)

Perfect for this Valentine's.

The two awesome customers. =D

My Valentine of the day. =D

Me. #foreveralone?

Of delicious and irresistable food.

Appetizer - salad.

Orchid Garden tea. =)

My tea cup.

Her tea cup.

Now this is artistic. =)

Sugar, spice, and everything nice.
(Oi, why do I recall Powerpuff Girls?)

Her Teriyaki Chicken Rice.

My Macaroni Cheese Baked.

Highly recommended to have this when you're too hungry. Very filling.

The table. =D

Some camwhoring moments before we actually begin eating. XD

Love. =)

#megusta.

It would be so awkward to have an outing without a "group" photo.

My hair ish messy. Lol.

After dropping her at INTI for her class (YES PEOPLE, I WAS IN INTI.), I drove myself here...

The all new Penang International Airport.

Some parts of the building are still renovating.

I walked into the departure hall #likeaboss, with my shades and car key.

Why was I even there?
Well, this was the saddening part I mentioned in the beginning.
Joey, my ex-neighbour and a friend of 7 years, is flying to Melbourne. ='(
Reason : To study chemical engineering for 5 years in Melbourne University.
Do come back during your summer holidays. Many people are gonna miss you like crazy if you don't.
Some photos before she went into the departure hall.
Credits to Uncle Daniel and Aunt Janice, Joey's parents. =)

Family portrait. =)

Joey, aLiCe.

With her awesome bunch of friends.

♥

Dear Joey,
            Glad to have known you for so many years. I can still remember that I used to go to your house during any random moments possible for any random occasions in the past, even when you moved. >:D
            You're absolutely the awesome one. =) Have a safe trip to Melbourne. Take care and keep in touch. Blessed Valentine's Day.

Thinking of not to be #foreveralone, I drove all the way back to Queensbay.
*Sorry my baby car and dear petrol.*
I got my card reloaded and had this one...

Chocolate Cream Chip Frappuccino. *Coffee-free*.

This Valentine's, it's not all about being together with your boyfriend or girlfriend.
There's another few things called family love, friendship love and God's love. ♥

Blessed Valentine's Day, everyone.

With ♥,
-aLiCe_RawkXZ-

Lost.

That's what my family had been through for the last week.
Lost.
Indeed the most pathetic one.

No one could see this coming, but it happened out of a sudden.
When people were busy preparing for Chinese New Year, here we faced the most massive loss ever.

I can still remember heading back to my mum's hometown for Chinese New Year celebrations.
Words to describe me around 10 years ago. Hmm. All negative.
Rebellious, bossy, self-centred.
My parents used to spend an hour or 2 just to get me off the car.
Penang was my all, you see.
Being brought to a totally unfamiliar place, some just won't be obedient, but I know I overacted.

He would always sit by the entrance of the house, welcoming me with a warm smile.
And no matter how big I grow, he sees me as a little child.

I pretty much remember the very last time I saw him.
I drove mum to the hospital to check him out.
He was lying on the bed, smiling to us.
Well he couldn't really recognise me at first, as I said, he always thought I'm still a child.
Got to know me with a driving license, he looked at Grandma surprisingly, like he didn't know I'm already that big.
My mum asked him if he dared to let me drive him around for coffee, he shook his head, smiled.
Perhaps he knew that my skills weren't that good.

However, who knows that would be my regret?
I can never drive him around any more.

RIP, Grandpa.

(22.2.1934 - 12.1.2012)

-aLiCe_RawkXZ-

Book of 2012, Chapter 1 of 12, Paragraph 2 of 31, Page 2 of 366.

Day 2.
It's shopping with mum after brunch.

At first I thought it would be a short one, but we ended up walking in Queensbay for 5+ hours.
(Not to mention it's killing my feet. >.< Until we settled down in Sakae Sushi for tea break.)

Conclusion, spent nearly thousand bucks shopping for Chinese New Year. Duh.
Bankrupt coming.

-aLiCe_RawkXZ-

Christmas.

Blessed Christmas everyone.
Of course, Blessed Birthday to our Saviour.

Party rock? Maybe not.
This year's Christmas mood was totally brought down until I went to Natalie's house.
At least I felt the spirit and all carollers are my close siblings in Christ. =)
I was surprised to even meet some of them.
Qu Wern, Kenneth, Benjamin and Jonathan especially.
Most girls went to camp so yeah, still full of topics. (Girls. XD)
Captain ball on Monday and reunion on Tuesday, ON!

Not to forget, Trio. <3
Your Christmas presents are still with me, yet to be wrapped.
Do claim from me when we meet up aye? Hearts.

Celebration with family members. Good or bad?
=.0
I have no idea.

One huge Christmas tree for all before ending this post.

Feliz Navidad

-aLiCe_RawkXZ-

Logos Hope, 20110918.

The weather was not fine at all.
Rained and stopped, rained and stopped.

When the sky was blue... - RetroCam.

Looking at the sky made me feel moody. =(

Did it give you a thunderstorm-on-the-way feeling?

Despite the bad weather, the crowd's response was still overwhelming.

Can you believe that this was just the beginning of the queue?

Behind us, well I won't wanna imagine it. - RetroCam.

The ship was quite huge, of course not as huge as Star Libra.
Here's one photo of it, taken using RetroCam's [B/W] polaroid (accidentally).

Logos Hope, the world's largest floating book fair.

In Penang, 30th August - 25th September 2011.

It was definitely a golden opportunity to visit the ship.
However, my mood was sort of distracted due to the crowd.
It was so congested that they won't even make way while they were glancing the books.
Selfish, no?

2 hours on the ship was thrilling.
Sometimes you won't even remember that you were on a ship!
Glad to meet Melanie, Samuel and Siv there. =)
Everything went so well that I didn't wanna leave the ship, you see.
Of the view, souvenirs, books and food. X)

Swettenham Pier. I love how polaroid gave the effect on this picture. =)

Item #1 : Logos Hope key ring, 50 units.

Item #2 : Daily prayer meditation book, 200 units.

Here I introduce you to International Cafe. Here's the menu.

Please prepare enough cash to enjoy. Aha!

Vanilla X Chocolate. I'll prefer chocolate than vanilla. =)

Chocolate chip cookie X Lemon juice X Orange juice X Popcorn.

Me lurved this. =D

Went home at 3 p.m. sharp, with sheer enjoyment and relaxation.

Gateway. Rebecca (cousin sis), mum.

The sky, looked great again. Praise the Lord!

Star Libra.

Finally, one colour polaroid for Logos Hope. Lessthanthree.

Logos Hope, bringing knowledge, help and hope. Thank God, praise ye Lord.

The blogger. PEACE.

-aLiCe_RawkXZ-

Nasi Lemak 2.0!

Here goes the official wallpaper from the official page.

Starring Namewee, Karen Kong, Adibah Noor, Dato David Arumugam, Nadine Ann Thomas (Winner of Miss Malaysia Universe 2010), Reshmonu and many more local artistes.
Get all about the movie here. =D

Went for this movie yesterday evening at TGV, 1st Avenue.
Girls' day out! Not with my friends though.
Due to some lagging while shopping in Parkson, the film started when we entered the theatre.
7th row from the screen, the view was quite clear. =)
The awesome part of this movie was it'll get you to laugh from the start till the end.
Non-stop epicness!
Hmm. Shall share some interesting parts.

1. Imagine Chef Huang (Namewee) kept on saying "Walau eh! Chin chia lai liao! Ooh! Walau eh! Song ah! Walau eh!" while he was frying rice for a customer, but the rice portion cut half when he put them into a plate and made him say another "Walau eh!". Lol! (If you're a Penangite, you'll definitely know what I'm saying.)

2. Another epic part was, the name of the evil character who fought over Chef Huang in culinary academy, Lan Qiao (Dennis Lau). *Dennis Yin! Elecoldxhot! He's not. =( Never mind though.* (Well what are you thinking when you see his name, huh?) That made the whole theatre laughed so hard that we couldn't stop laughing when they called his name in the movie, as most of the people in the theatre are Penangites.

3. When Chef Huang was requested by the neighbourhood to solve some problems happening around, he took his camcorder, planning to upload all the videos onto Youtube and pictures onto Facebook. Among the crowd, there were 2 aunties. Here goes their conversation (in Mandarin, translated):
A : Hey, remember to tag me yeah!
B : No problem! Give me your Facebook account then.
A : I go home only add you lah.
B : No need, you just have to e-mail your Facebook account to me then okay already.
A : Okay okay!
-LMFAO! Aunties around the age of 60s using Facebook!-

I'll give a 85/100 for the movie, mainly on the humour parts.
Be sure to find time and watch this local movie, especially with your friends.
*Walau eh! Driving lesson + Logos Hope tomorrow, Johnny English Reborn soon. XD*

-aLiCe_RawkXZ-

Pre-planned vacation?

There was this ordinary day when mum suddenly asked me about my breaks during SPM.
"After 7th Dec, you can bring me anywhere." I told her.
"The Swiss Garden vacation package expires 2nd Dec."
"Hmm. 24th to 28th Nov? No papers during these dates."
"I'll consider to reschedule my leave, down to KL, then we also can pay a visit to your bro as well."

Ah, greatest sentences I've heard.
I never thought of going on a vacation in the middle of exams, especially this is SPM.
Bravo, mummy! =)

People who're currently reading this, no matter via Blogger or Facebook.
Please always remember that your parents are there for you.
Every plan they make, it's all for your future, even the plan might make you feel that it sucks.
We all might face the same situation that at times we disobey our parents.
No matter what, we're still their children and they'll still care for us, even if we're grown ups.
Dad told me that he'll still call me "baby" even when I start to work in the future. How sweet of him.

Cherish the moments with your family while you can, and leave no regrets. =) -selfquote-

-aLiCe_RawkXZ-

Bad day in July.

Shall make detailed update soon. Now a brief one.

1st thing, daddy's in the hospital. =((
2nd thing, was locked outside the house for 10 minutes after coming back from the hospital.
3rd thing, and the worst nightmare of all. I GOT NS. DARN!

-aLiCe_RawkXZ-

Get well soon.

Woke up quite late in the morning.
Hey yeah, thanks to that super lame event.
A new record in the Malaysian Book of Records?
What's that so important until the whole Malaysia's having massive traffic jams?

Went to Air Itam for brunch.
Oh, goodness.
Since when Penang food is that expensive?
One plate of Char Koay Teow with egg costs RM 5.50?!
Darn. Imagine 9 out of 10 of us eating the same thing.
One RM 50 note goes and what comes back is a 50 cent coin! Ugh.

It's a trip to LWE Hospital after that to visit my grandfather.
He can recognize my other cousins but not me at first.
He thought I was still a small girl like he used to see years ago.
Even my grandma said I'm already like a grown up, almost an adult.
*Do I look that matured?*
Glad to know that his condition is much better compared to when he's admitted in Taiping.
Yeah, he still can joke and talk over the phone with my uncle who just came back from Jakarta.

Making full use of what I've studied, Biology, even though that's not what I wanted at first.
My grandfather's blood pressure is slightly lower than normal.
Still, his condition is fine.
Just that he was told by the doctor to rest more in bed.

The ward suddenly became like a party with our family members in. Lol.
And that's not the individual's ward.
If anyone of you were there, you'll know.

*Random*
It's been a month since I last drove. Deii.
I wanna go for car test so badly! Come on...

-aLiCe_RawkXZ-